Truth and a Smile
by Catwoman2
Summary: Kathryn finally learns the truth of her parameters, but will she ever tell Chakotay? His smile, as well as a secret of his own, seems to encourage her and make her question her decision.


Truth and a Smile

**Author: **Catwoman

**Rated:** PG****

**Disclaimer: **Paramount owns the characters, yet I write the stories****

**Summary**: Kathryn finally learns the truth of her parameters, but will she ever tell Chakotay? His smile seems to encourage her and make her question her decision, and he has to stay around long enough if she is ever to tell him.

Kathryn Janeway sat in her quarters on her couch, one leg tucked under the other, coffee in hand, eyes staring out the view port, and mind blank. No, her mind wasn't blank, just blank to the world around her. In reality, it was filled with thoughts from the past. Her life before Voyager, her family, the Maquis, all the crew that she had lost, and gained, one crewman is particular; her first officer.

Lately, something had been going on with him. At first, she had blamed it on the stress of the past seven years, but now she knew it wasn't just that. He had stopped coming to their weekly dinners, he was less flirty on the bridge (or anywhere else for that matter), and he had been constantly avoiding personal conversations with her. Not that a lot of those conversations came around, but when they did, he would just mumble an excusing response and leave saying he had work to do.

The most recent conversation she had with him had felt like a disaster. After only about five minutes, she had dismissed him, and he left without even the faintest smile. She quickly remembered the day of the conversation.

She had been in her ready room sitting at her couch, PADD in one hand, coffee in the other. She was going over the latest Engineering report B'Elanna had sent her. Engines were fine, but another fight had broken out in Engineering between Seven and her. Janeway saw no choice but to have this resolved or Seven would have to be informed that she could no longer help adapt the engines.

The faintest sound of the chime aroused her from her work, but she didn't even try to look up as she gave the order for the person to enter. The doors swished open and she heard footsteps coming towards her.

"Captain." She looked up and a smile formed on her lips.

"Commander, what pleasure do I owe this visit?" She asked teasingly.

"Just stopping by to hand you the latest crew roster." He stretched his arm out in front of him, PADD in hand.

As she set the Engineering report on the small table in front of her, she motioned for Chakotay to do the same with the crew roster. He smiled, put the PADD on the table, and turned to leave, but Kathryn's hand brushed up against his arm just in time to stop him.

"Uh, Chakotay… join me for coffee?" She asked, motioning towards her own cup.

"Not today, Kathryn."

"Alright, we could have tea?" She asked again, knowing that was something Chakotay preferred over coffee.

"No."

"No?" That had surprised Kathryn. Chakotay also looked stunned at how harsh his answer came out. 

"Alright."

"I'm sorry, Kathryn." His voice immediately changed to tender and she could see the sorrow reflected in his eyes. "I'm really not myself today."

Well, he looked sorry enough, but still, she couldn't stop her eyebrow from rising a bit in a questioning gesture as to what had been going on with him. However, she stopped trying to question him when he averted his eyes away from hers.

 "It's okay Chakotay, but is everything all right with you?"

"Just fine." 

"Well then, I guess I'll be seeing you later, Commander." Still, she had to press further, "How about dinner?"

"I'm sorry, but I kind of already made plans. Maybe some other time?" 

"Okay," She didn't know what else to say so she allowed him to leave. 

He turned on his foot and left. 

Now, two days after, she was still thinking about it. Chakotay had sounded like he was keeping something from her, which was very unlike him. They were best friends, and she thought Chakotay would tell her everything, and he did, until now. If she so badly wanted to know what was going on, she should just go up to him and ask 'Chakotay, what the hell is going on?'. No, that wouldn't work; she needed to be subtler. Anyways, he may eventually tell her, it's not like she couldn't wait, she just didn't want to. 

It had started about a month ago, and the more the weeks had progressed, the more he had been drifting from her, and so far nothing had been working to keep them together even if it was just as friends. He would cancel evening dinners, avoid her on the bridge, seclude himself from the crew, and he didn't talk to anyone much anymore.

"Chakotay, what's been going on with you, my friend…?" She wondered aloud. She missed the man he once was, how he used to react to her, how he used to love her, she felt the same way. 

That was it. She felt the same way. She loved Chakotay. Years ago, she would have denied this to herself; she wouldn't have accepted it, but now was different. She was too tired of hiding it, she was a woman as well as a captain, and she shouldn't be able to deny herself that. Why hadn't she realized that her love wasn't something she could hide years ago? Now Chakotay most likely didn't feel the same way. Still, though, she couldn't fraternize with a member of her crew, especially the first officer.

However, the way she felt now wasn't because she thought she would loose Chakotay as a friend, it was losing Chakotay's love that she worried about. She had gotten used to him caring for her that by now she would excuse it as a daily routine. _You don't realize the value of something until it is gone._ She laughed at the irony of that statement in appeal to her life.

Maybe if she told Chakotay how she felt she wouldn't loose him, he might still love her. She had felt so close to home these past weeks that her 'parameters' didn't seem to hold. Her crew could and would survive without their captain's full attention, they were strong, willing people, and some of them, if not all, would actually be glad if Chakotay and she pursued a relationship. There were so many complications she had had to deal with in the earlier years of being stranded leading her not to love Chakotay, but while she still had those complications now, she believed she could manage them well enough to bring on a relationship within the ranks. Although on duty the captain could not and would not love her first officer, off duty it seemed perfectly logical. 

The earlier years of being stranded, Kathryn had been pushed so far inside the captain, buried into blackness. After all these years, the captain had gotten tired and faded, leaving Kathryn more and more uncovered. She had finally overpowered the captain, made the captain see her way, and although the two didn't agree at first, they finally did. 

Kathryn had let her parameters drop, the only problem was telling Chakotay. How could she go about that? _Pathetic, I spend hours arguing over whether or not I should block my love, and when I decide not to I can't even be brave enough to tell him._ But when would she ever get the chance? And what if he didn't like her anymore? What if he moved on?

No, she couldn't think this way, she had decided she loved him; now all she had to do was tell him, the truth was too great to keep hidden. She'd find the time to tell him. If he moved on, she would just say it was to let him know how she felt and to get it off her chest, that was the truth after all. If he didn't love her, she would go on her way, and although heartbroken, she wouldn't have to worry about him never knowing, and she would finally feel peace.

She knew she would tell him, but it still brought butterflies to her stomach. Sometime she would let him know she loved him, sometime soon before it got too late, she just didn't know when or how.

=^=

"The time is now 0600 hours."

A pause, and no one said anything.

"The time is now 0600 hours." Again the unisex voice flowed through the quarters of an officer as she lay in bed, unaware of her surroundings, not ready to embrace the day. 

A muffled moan came from the mouth buried in a pillow, and then a voice spoke. "Computer, reset alarm for twenty-four hours." 

A beep of recognition followed her voice.

Kathryn Janeway lay sprawled in bed, eyes halfway shut, and hair mussed, and groggily welcomed the day. Raising her hands up stretching her muscles, she lay in bed thinking about last night, the reason she hadn't gotten more than three hours sleep. 

She got up, clothed in her peach, satin nightgown, and walked over to her bathroom.

"Computer, activate sonic shower."

A beep confirmed her words, and the shimmering sound began.

She stepped in, much to the relief of aching muscles. She moaned a sigh of relief as she felt its comfortable pressure wiping away all the musky morning tiredness and grime.

When she stepped out of the shower, towel wrapped around her body, she was relieved to feel less tired, but she still felt like sleeping. Her handsome first officer, along with an evil mind, had been keeping her up thinking once again. All night she had been pondering thoughts and questions. What was right? To tell him or not? When to tell him? She still didn't know. However, she guessed that neither was right nor wrong, they were just choices. Each of them would have either a good outcome, or a bad outcome.

Last night she had felt so sure of telling Chakotay, but now she was much less confident. She knew she loved him, and although she would question what would have happened if she told him, it wouldn't kill her to not tell him. Of course, she liked the idea of getting the burden off her chest, but she just wasn't sure anymore.

If she told Chakotay, he could either love her back still, after all these years, or he might have stopped loving her and she would have to live with it. But if she didn't tell him, she could live a life always asking questions and 'what ifs'. 

_God, too many thoughts on love! Stop being such a coward! You know that's the only reason you won't tell him! You're a coward!_ She knew it was true; she was being a coward, a lovesick fool. Ugh! She couldn't deal with this right now. _I'll compromise, if an event comes up that I have a sudden nerve to spill everything to Chakotay, I will._

=^=

About an hour later the captain was dressed and set for the bridge. Well, she was dressed, and she was ready to captain the ship, she just wasn't ready to face a certain someone on the bridge. It was too early to have to deal with those irresistible dimples of his. As far as she was concerned, she wished she didn't have to see Chakotay for as long as she deemed fit. _Who made me become a hormonal teenager? He's my first officer and my best friend!_

Kathryn took a deep breath. Inhaled, gathering all the thoughts she didn't want. Exhaled, pushing those thoughts out of her body, out of her mind. She walked straight out of her quarters, stepping into the well-lighted corridor, and heading for the bridge.

One step towards her destination. Two steps, three, four, fi- Whoosh. The door to the quarters next to hers slid open, and out stepped the last person she wanted to see, out stepped her burden, the one in her train of thoughts, the person who made her lose all possible sleep at night. 

"Great, fate must have something against me today." She mumbled to herself, face down, looking at her shoes, at the floor, an air of darkness around her.

"Kathryn?" His deep questioning voice spoke.

"Yes, Chakotay?" Her head snapped up and looked him straight in the face. She was smiling, but it wasn't a happy smile.

"Are you going to stand in front of my quarters all day? I never knew how fascinated you were with them." Laughter in his eyes, he looked right at her.

_This is just great…_ She hadn't realized that the moment Chakotay's quarters had opened she had stopped dead in her tracks, her feet glued to the floor.

"Uh… um, well, no commander, I'll be walking." She stammered out her response. _So much for facing him on the bridge._

She looked up at him, giving her much loved half-smile, and was about to scurry as fast as she could to the bridge, when she saw it. That smile. It was the smile he, and only he, would give to her, and only her. It was like magic, his lips spread into a fine line, dimples in force, she loved that smile. It made her heart ache with love for the man, made all sensible notations float away, and lit up the whole area surrounding him. She hadn't seen that smile in so long, and it was that smile that showed exactly how much he loved and cared for her. It was that smile that almost made her spill everything.

"Chakotay, I… I…" 

"Come on, Kathryn, we'll be late for the bridge, and you know how much it hates waiting." Another joke, his smile grew. 

He had no idea he just stopped her from saying the three words that would mean the most towards him. Kathryn thought, was that a sign? Did he interrupt me for a reason? No, that smile showed all, and that look. _God, that look in his eyes is deep, it's like reading his soul. His smile, and his look, there is no denying it, it has to be love! He doesn't smile for anyone like that, no one at all, except me_.

They continued their walk along the corridor in silence, and stepped inside the turbolift.

"Bridge."

"Deck seven."

"Commander?"

"I have to stop by the Aeroponics Bay really quick."

"What for?"

"Flowers, what else. I'll be on the bridge shortly." That smile again, but Janeway only gave him a questioning glare.

The turbolift started, whirling to life, taking Chakotay to the Aeroponics Bay first, and as the doors opened, and the smile he had left him as he left her alone in the turbolift.

Flowers? Why would Chakotay need flowers? Probably for some kind of project he was working on, maybe redecorating his quarters. Oh well, no need to question. _He could always be getting them for you…_

"Yeah right, he knows I'd phaser him if he ever sent me flowers on the bridge," Kathryn laughed to herself.

The turbolift doors whooshed open once more, and Kathryn stepped out onto the bridge Bridge.

=^=

One starship flying by at warp speed, two starships flying by at impulse, three starships damaged, four blown up… I could use a Borg cube right now…

It was only fifteen minutes into the shift and it was too quiet; too still, there was nothing to, she couldn't even talk to anyone. Well, she could, but her Vulcan friend was not ever very talkative while on duty. He would only talk about the logic and reasoning of command, and then go off and say that their little talk was illogical. She didn't need that at the moment.

There was always Tom, the prankster of the journey. She could always risk starting up a conversation with him and being told the latest smart-alleck joke. Unlike Tuvok, Tom was the exact opposite, always joking around, except in emergencies. She had to admit, she was proud of him, he had grown so much since seven years ago with the Caretaker, but he still had a joking side to him.

She could always talk to Harry. No, he was too Starfleet-ish for her taste at the moment. Anyways, if she started up a conversation with him, Tom would soon join in with his little jokes, and then Tuvok would end it by saying that talking was completely illogical. 

She needed her first officer. Chakotay always had a knack to make things interesting, and entertaining, even if it was sitting on the bridge traveling through dull space. And he sat side by side with her, meaning she would only have to lean over a short distance to meet his console, and whisper something in his ear, let alone keep a conversation going without having the whole bridge staff find out what they were talking about. He always made things interesting for her, that's what she loved about him, and those dimples and his wonderful just for her smile.

"Captain? Captain…"

Janeway's head snapped up, and she found herself looking into the eyes of Tom Paris. Still sitting at his station, he had swiveled his chair around and obviously asked her something.

"I'm sorry Tom, what were you saying?"

"I asked where Commander Chakotay was, he isn't usually late?"

"He went to the Aeroponics Bay for flowers, and said he would be up here shortly."

"Flowers?!" Tom looked surprised, but there was laughter in his eyes as a smile crept up on his boyish face. "So you let him off the hook for being late, but I get reprimanded and the duty of cleaning the plasma manifolds."

All Janeway did was roll her eyes and focus her attention elsewhere, it wasn't worth it to play Tom Paris's little games. 

Eventually Tom decided she was never going to answer his statement and turned back around to monitor the ship's flying status. 

About another half-hour later Chakotay stepped off the turbolift onto the bridge. Looking around he saw that everything was going smoothly. That is, until he saw Janeway's frown and Tom's grin. He knew the captain must be a little mad at him, after all it doesn't take forty minutes to get flowers, but he had to take care of some things as well. Tom's smile, on the other hand, was a problem. Did he know about the flowers?

"So, Chakotay, off on a trip to get flowers?" Oh yeah, he knew.

"Paris, that's not your concern."

"Sure, you act tough but we know you're a hopeless romantic at heart, just like me." Tom's grin grew at the flash of surprise and anger in Chakotay's eyes.

"No way I would ever be like you, Paris."

"Don't be so sure of yourself. So… who's the lucky lady?"

"That isn't your business, either."

With that Chakotay turned and took his seat side by side with the captain. She faintly smiled, but he only saw the trace of it, and in return gave her a cool stare before starting his day off.

So, there was actually a lucky lady in Chakotay's life. Maybe it could still be her; maybe he was still planning on giving her flowers. Doubtful, extremely doubtful. Her heart broke a little more at everything she had planned to do, and although she wanted to know whom Chakotay had picked now, she didn't dare to ask him. As much as she tried to ignore the voice in the back of her head, it was screaming at her that there was still a possibility that it was she.

=^=

Weeks passed, and although it took a while at first, Kathryn and Chakotay's friendship came back to normal status. He was still acting like he was hiding something from her, but it wasn't as bad as the previous weeks, and it rarely showed. Maybe everything was back to normal, and Chakotay wasn't hiding anything, he could have just needed a few weeks to sort out personal things that he didn't want to discuss. Whatever is was, it didn't matter to Kathryn anymore, and their friendship was back together again. The only problem was that she still had to figure out a way to tell him she loved him.

The lucky lady Chakotay had mentioned with Tom on the bridge could have only been a way to distract Paris's wandering mind. That or he was completely over her, because their was no mentions of a woman in his life, and Kathryn would see no reason why Chakotay wouldn't tell her if there was one.

Tonight, the commander and herself were having dinner in her quarters. He had offered to help her look over reports in exchange for a dinner, and she had happily agreed. 

She was adding the finishing touches to the table and dinner just as the chime sounded.

"Come in."

Chakotay walked in wearing a white top and beige slacks, carrying a bottle of champagne. The first thing that caught his eye was Kathryn, she looked gorgeous in a pale blue dress, accenting her eyes and hair, She seemed comfortable and content, and when her eyes met his she gave him her little half smile.

"You look great," Came Chakotay's voice.

"So do you. Shall we eat?" She raised her hand out towards the table and they sat down to enjoy dinner before going on to reports.

During the dinner they talked casually about ship status and work, also getting into some gossip and light banter. After dinner, Chakotay helped Kathryn clear the plates, and they moved over to the couch with the reports and champagne. 

A few words were exchanged, and after a while Kathryn got bored of reading, decidedly setting the PADD down and started to think, staring off into space. It was so perfect right now, and with Chakotay by her side she felt so content, she knew that when they got back to Earth she would miss being with him terribly. She didn't want it to end, and finally made a decision: tonight, she would tell Chakotay the truth.

Chakotay had been looking at the report, and although he noticed when Kathryn placed hers down, he kept looking over his. In reality, he was thinking about everything that had happened to him over the past month. In some ways, the choice he made felt like the only one he had, but in other ways, it felt so wrong. He hadn't even told Kathryn yet, and she was his closest companion, but tonight she needed to know the truth, even if it broke her heart.

Chakotay set his wine glass and PADD on the table next to Kathryn's. He wasn't sure how to tell her to make her understand it the way he did, but he needed to at least try to, she deserved that much.

"Kathryn." he started, and almost backed away from telling her. How could he see her hurt? He knew that with telling her his secret it would hurt her, and he couldn't bear to see that, but sooner or later he would have to anyways.

Concern covered her face, "What is it. Chakotay?"

"There's something you need to know."

Well, he had beat her to it, and he might as well go first, it might give her some courage to tell him what was on her mind as well. It was kind of ironic how they both needed to tell each other something at the same exact time, and she was secretly wishing he had to tell her the same thing as she.

"Okay"

"I don't know if you've noticed or not, but for the past month or so, I felt like I was acting a little…" He stopped, searching for the right word. "Secluded towards you and most of my friends."

She only nodded in reply, signaling for him to continue.

"I'm sorry for being like that, but now I guess I owe you an explanation. I just didn't want to hurt you and I thought that if I told you it would." His face was a full-on frown, and she could see nothing in his eyes except regret and seriousness. "Kathryn," He covered one of her hands with his. "I… I don't know how to say this."

She didn't know what to say to him in return. He didn't want to hurt her? What could be going on that he would think would hurt her? She could tell that what he was hiding was tearing him apart inside, so she gave him a reassuring smile, asking him to continue.

"About a month ago, Seven asked to go to dinner with me. Naturally, I thought it was to discuss ship's business, but she had requested it out-of-uniform, and casual. So, halfway through the dinner she looks nervously at me and tells me that she 'wishes to pursue a romantic relationship' with me. Seems she had quite a crush on me."

"A crush?" Janeway almost started laughing then and there. Chakotay would most likely only take it as a childish admiration, and Seven was young, mentally and physically, almost like a kid with overactive teenage hormones. She looked like she was in her late twenties or early thirties, but all of her childhood experiences had been taken away from her, and she was just now beginning to learn what she should have in her teen years. 

Chakotay interrupted her train of thoughts as he continued. "That's how I thought at first, just a little crush, and I was flattered, but over the past weeks, I got to know Seven, and she intrigued me. It amazed me how much she is like you, but then again it doesn't. You were her teacher, there is no doubt she has some of your qualities, but still…" His voice trailed off, thinking of how to put his next words in a way Kathryn would understand without making him feel guilty. "She is so much like you, and as our 'dates' progressed, I noticed I developed an attraction to her."

Kathryn gasped. It was soft and barely audible, but Chakotay caught it, and knew it was a surprise to her. It was even a surprise to him, but he knew the truth, deep inside, he didn't love Seven, and he was going to make that clear.

"I remember thinking well around the third date, how this couldn't possibly happen. I loved you, not Seven, and then I realized that I don't love Seven. Sure, I like her, but not in a romantic way, she's just a colleague and a friend, and I can never imagine loving her. I only love one person at I have only loved one person for quite some time, but now I have made a choice, and Seven only helped.

"I may not love Seven, but I guess since I can't have you and I know you will never let me love you while on this ship, I went for the next best thing. Maybe someday I will learn to love Seven, but I doubt it. 

"Don't you see, Kathryn? She's young enough to be my daughter, but I need someone, and since you won't take me, maybe I can find happiness somewhere else, but not love. I want a wife, children, someone I love, and while I can have two of those three things with Seven, I won't be completely happy, but it's the only choice now, and it's the next best thing. I can't keep living in the past."

With that, he looked up at Kathryn, tears coming from his own eyes as he admitted he had moved on with life, but not with his love. Sure, if Kathryn loved him he would give up Seven, take Kathryn without a doubt. It sounded ruthless and awful, but he knew it was right, and Seven had to feel the same way, she couldn't be completely comfortable with him either. 

Kathryn and him were soul mates, they would always be together and share a close bond unique to only them, but he needed someone by his side, someone to wake up with in mornings, and someone to be his lover.

Kathryn's face was wet from tears as well, and as a new one emerged, he caught it and brushed it away with his thumb. In that moment, despite everything, it looked like Chakotay was about to kiss her, but he just turned away and looked at their hands. 

"I'm really sorry, Kathryn."

Without looking back, Chakotay uncovered her hand within his, stood up, and walked out.

Kathryn was still too shocked to comprehend anything, so she just sat there, not willing to stop him. Chakotay with Seven? It didn't even seem possible, but they were together and only because he couldn't have Kathryn. But he still loved her, and he admitted that while Seven and him were together, he didn't love Seven, he loved her. They still had a chance. 

Damn, she should have told him her news first; that she actually loved him and he didn't have to have the next best thing, he could have her. Why did he have to walk away so fast? 

"Chakotay, if only you knew the truth…" She said to the empty room.

Tears glistened in her eyes as thoughts ran in and out throughout her mind. God, she needed some coffee right about now, or at least a nice cool bath. It would be a hell of a lot easier to sort through things in the morning, and a night's sleep wouldn't hurt so Kathryn decided to forgo the coffee and bath, and just get some rest. 

=^=

Over the weeks that passed, there had been many chances for Kathryn to tell Chakotay how she felt, but the arrival of the Admiral put her feelings on hold. At first she was surprised to see her older self on the view screen, but as the days progressed _Voyager _seemed to become more and more used to her presence.

Other than getting her crew home early, the Admiral had seemed to have an underlying mission dealing with Kathryn's personal life. The Admiral had told her things about the future she didn't need to know, like Seven and Chakotay getting married, then both of them dying. She quickly assumed that in the Admiral's timeline, she had not told Chakotay how she felt. No wonder she became a cynical old woman.

Now, however, the Admiral was gone, dead from existence, and as Voyager traveled through the transwarp corridor towards home, Kathryn finally realized that it was now, on this ship, or never. Apparently she had quite a job at this moment, as did Chakotay, so now was not a good time, later. 

The Borg Sphere came over _Voyager_, emerging on it, and then exploded into a vast spectrum of lights. Kathryn was in shock when she saw the Starfleet armada. Admiral Paris was put onscreen and they exchanged a few words, then the view changed to the Starfleet ships and Earth. Ordering Chakotay to take the helm, she looked back towards him and her heart sunk.

She had noticed that he had not been by her side when they entered the Alpha Quadrant. It was a small detail, but she missed him terribly and in some way, she always thought he would be standing there right by her when they got home. That wasn't what deeply tore at her though, it was his smile. The smile that had been meant for her, the smile he had only for her was now directed at Seven as he walked down from the upper level to take the helm.

For a moment she reconsidered telling him the truth, but quickly discarded that idea. She knew he didn't really love Seven, and after their long conversation the night in her quarters, she knew she needed to tell him. But for now, he was at the helm, leading _Voyager _back to Earth, back home.

About a half hour later, Tom Paris walked onto the Bridge with a smile that lit up his whole face. Janeway stood up and started clapping, all the other Bridge crew standing to clap as well. After seven long years, Tom deserved a standing ovation. Kathryn walked down towards him and gave him a pat on the shoulder. 

"Congratulations, Tom"

"Thank you, but now I think I'm ready to land this bucket of bolts." Tome smiled at the look on Janeway's face, and then quickly added, "I'm kidding, she's a fine, fine ship."

Walking down to his station he relieved Chakotay who gladly went to take a seat by his Captain, and as he caught Kathryn's gaze, he smiled that smile once again, this time for her, and she noticed that when he had smiled it before towards Seven, he had looked a lot sadder, but now it was from ear to ear, and she admired it before giving a small smile and looking away. 

It was now or never. _You can do this, Kathryn; you've got to tell him._ She kept running encouraging thoughts inside her head, but they didn't help the butterflies as she got up and looked Chakotay straight in the eye. "Commander, could I see you in my ready room?"

"Sure, Captain." As Chakotay got up to follow her he noticed that there was a slight twinkle in her eye and her smile had grown, but she looked nervous.

The doors closed behind him and she walked to her desk to sit down, but decided against it, and told herself procrastinating would get her nowhere. Walking straight up to Chakotay, who obviously had no idea what was about to happen and looked confused, she laid a hand on his shoulder, and took a breath.

"Chakotay, there's something I've been meaning to tell you…" And she told him everything. 

He just stared in shock at her face, until reaching up to her and cupping her cheek with a hand. "It's about time you told me." 

All she could do was smile her big, toothy grin he loved, and as he looked into her eyes he saw the one thing that had been missing from them since he met her: love. Now as he explored her eyes, he could see it, all the love she had, it was like looking into her soul, and he noticed her facial expression, and quickly realized she must see the same thing reflected in his eyes.

Her smile faded as the look shared between them became more serious, and the last thing Kathryn saw before his lips descending on hers for a warm kiss, was his smile that had always been there supporting her through the years. The smile that showed the depth of what he was. The smile that was just for her.

**Finis**


End file.
